The Mitt’s Come Off

A while back, when Michelle Bachmann was still a thing, I put up a post with some of her ridiculous quotes. I paired each one to a song, and it seemed that a lot of people enjoyed it. Or maybe they just liked that I called her a crazy, ignorant bigot in the title. Mitt’s a little tougher to nail down with such harsh language. Sure he’s ignorant, but not in the same way as Bachmann. His ignorance may be even worse, because at least Bachmann seemed to know that she was alienating people with her speeches. Romney seems completely baffled that people haven’t connected with his views on the issues (they change depending on the day, which might have something to do with the lack of connection.

I just ran across a collection of Mitt-isms on TPM, and as I read through it I was coming up with songs without even thinking about it. So I figured I’d throw another one out here and see how it plays. Hopefully these get you through the dark days of this primary season.

1.) “I’m also unemployed” June 16, 2011

Poor guy. Must be tough for a multi-millionaire to have nothing to do but run for president.

2.) “Corporations are people, my friend” August 11, 2011

I have to admit, the first time I heard this one I thought it was a joke. Nope. He was serious. Wow.

3.) “I’m running for office for Pete’s sake, we can’t have illegals” October 18, 2011

That just makes sense when you think about it. I mean, he’s running for office, people.

4.) “I’ll tell you what, ten-thousand bucks? $10,000 bet?” December 10, 2011

Probably the most hilarious non-scandal gaffe I’ve ever seen or heard a person running for office make. Jesus. How stupid do you have to be to offer up a $10,000 bet on national tv when 99 percent of the people watching don’t have $10,000 to their name? What an idiot.

I couldn’t find a video for this song, but it’s “Lay Your Money Down” by Bread.

5.) “I like being able to fire people” January 9, 2012

This is probably the only honest thing Mitt Romney has ever said.

6.) “There were a couple of times I wondered whether I was going to get a pink slip” January 8, 2012

I’m sure as the man in charge of a large company whose sole purpose is to buy other companies and squeeze them for every bit of profit you can get, you were probably constantly having panic attacks.

7.) “It’s for the great middle class – the 80 to 90 percent of us in this country” September 21, 2011

Yes Mitt. There are so many things that we have in common, and being middle class is definitely one of them. Oh wait. What’s that? Making over ten million dollars a year means you aren’t middle class? Oh shoot. Well, we’re both still in the age bracket of 25-75.

8.) “I’ve always been a rodent and rabbit hunter. Small varmints, if you will.” April 5, 2007

I saw this one and my mind went straight to this old cartoon. A classic to this day.

9.) “Don’t try and stop the foreclosure process. Let it run its course and hit the bottom.” October 17, 2011

Maybe for a guy with a mansion and a couple mini-mansions this is a good idea. For the rest of us it sounds like the craziest thing anyone has ever said. I wonder how many tea party members are having to deal with this kind of crisis in their lives right now.